Excuse me miss… why you so angry?

  1. Because you asked me that question.
  2. Because you used incorrect grammar doing it.
  3. Because Mountain Dew doesn’t come in an IV drip.
  4. Because a nine year old little girl knows all the words to every ratchet song on the radio but can not read.
  5. Because I just used the word ratchet, twice.
  6. Because I’m supposed to be the responsible one.
  7. Because Diet Caffeine Free Mountain Dew actually exists
  8. Because Wolverine doesn’t actually exist (at least I haven’t met him).
  9. Because of the Ravens offensive line, or lack thereof.
  10. Because not only does Chipotle not deliver but it doesn’t have a drive-thru and isn’t open 24 hours.
  11. Because poetry beef is apparently real and not the name of some sort of struggle food.
  12. Because some old woman of God is going to have us all pray her drug-dealing, child murdering, rapist, disrespectful ass son into heaven.
  13. Because that same woman told her gay son that he was not only dead to her but damned to hell.
  14. Because 2 Chainz is someone’s favorite rapper.
  15. Because Sister Mary Stella said I am going to hell because my parents weren’t married when I was conceived.
  16. Because some asshole is going to say I have “daddy issues” and that is why I am single.
  17. Because my father isn’t here to defend himself.
  18. Because it is my unbirthday and no on brought me any pound cake. Pound cake saves lives.
  19. Because I am not pretty enough.
  20. Because I am too pretty.
  21. Because assholes have actually said that to me.
  22. Because one pack of Oodles of Noodles is too little and two packs is too much.
  23. Because I can’t inhale without assistance.
  24. Because world star hip hop exists and people watch & re-post that shit.
  25. Because FUCK YOU… that’s why!

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