PTSD

Trust no one
They are all out for something
And I have nothing
Everything is gone
They have been here before
And they have taken it all
All the trust
All the hope
Left me paranoid
Depressed
Anxious
Sitting in the corner
No more tears
Only screams
I want to be normal
A part of things
A part of you
Fear paralyzed my legs
My vocal cords don’t work
They are the noose
And I swing from the words I didn’t say
The questions I didn’t ask
The feelings I kept from you
Because they didn’t know what to do
How to treat them
How to treat me
Not that I know how to treat me
Can you scream so loud your soul explodes?
Can you cry so much your heart drowns?
Why won’t my arm reach for you?
Why won’t it do what I need?
Why is it I can’t act?
But want to yell
Who is she?
And why doesn’t she want you?
Does she know what she is missing?
Does she know what I would do with you
If I weren’t so damaged.
A smile laced with desire is like shots fired
To me
Too scared to let go
Of all this passion I have
Choking on love
Sensual as that sounds
Fear kills the mood
Maybe if you hold my hand
Walk me through this
To the finish line
If the ropes of the past
Play puppet master
Teach me to cut the strings
Without cutting my veins
Cover my ears while I scream
Wipe my tears before they dry
Be my friend
And I will be your lover.